Consenting is the rule

I cheat to defeat my opponent
Then I say I never meant
To do him any harm
And I pour on the charm
But seemingly in vain
He won't forgive me for his pain


Cheating
is having the cake
and eating it too
To have the rules
apply to others
But not apply to you

'Being in a relationship' implies some sense of fidelity to one's partner - that's what makes it different from 'sleeping around for kicks'. Unless, of course, both partners opt for an 'open relationship'. If just one does, then that's cheating. But If both partners sleep around, are they both cheating? I say yes. They're breaking the rules the rest of us follow - how dare they? I mean, here we all are, struggling to be faithful, diligently walking the line, feeling guilty if we even think of straying, and there they are, hopping into bed with whomever takes their fancy at the time with total impunity. Is this fair? Why should they have all the fun? If, in fact, they are having more fun than the rest of us. As far as I know, no studies have been conducted on this important topic.

But I digress. Many people would say there can be no cheating in an open relationship, since there's no expectation of sexual fidelity. But for a relationship to mean anything there must be some rules. Even if your partner doesn't mind you sleeping with other people, she might mind it if you went away with other people for weeks on end while leaving her to keep house. You can take it from me. So, long story short, if you don't want to hurt people, you'd better know what the rules are, make sure they're fair to both of you, and then never break them. The trick is to learn just far you can bend them before they break .

- Paul

'I love him, I love them and I love me'

So far, cheating is to me something that would compromise the feeling I have toward my man.

I'm in love.
I'm always in love.
I love the men, the chemistry, their shoulders, the way they wear pants, their muscles, their awkwardness about relationship, the way they like sex, the way they protect, their attitude, their walk, their voices, the way they look at you when you are blooming in spring.

I go away, I am somewhere else for so many months; I am back with me. I am on my own. It's the same for the man. I miss him, soooo much, but I am happy to be back with myself. With myself I go feed on other people, like we all do. It gives us other colours and new eyes. It is a back and forth of energy and those moments are sooo important to me. Cuz really, if the couple brakes, what is left? For sure all those magic memories, mental picture of him in the morning, him with a flower, him being proud of you when you kick his friends ass on a stupid game. All this is still there and will forever and it is all part of a common life, that life we built between the two of us. That person we became by sharing so much. Well, as much as I love that duet being, I need to find myself sometimes and live things on my own, and I do. With my own reasons. If I was to kiss or spend the night in a naked bed with someone who is not my man, well it is my own business. No one need to know because it does not change anything in anyone's life. I still love my man, sooo much.

I love him, I love them and I love me.

-AB

The loyal one

Cheating is, to me, any action that I know would make my partner upset. I've been with my girlfriend for many years and know her in & out. I would be disrespecting her if I knew I was doing something that would upset her. I love her and want to be with her for a long time, so respecting her is a priority.

- W.B.