Thursday, March 19, 2009

Masturbating in love

Here's a short entry about last month's theme(Issue 1):

"Masturbating with your partner is a lot different, especially [when you haven't done it] for a long while.

I'm a bit embarrassed admitting this, like when we have sex we always cum together and it's always the best way to end it, brings you a lot closer to each other."

- anonymous

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

scary fantasy


Our capacity to fantasize and transport ourselves in some far away context is one of the few methods that can hint to us what is going on in our subconscious - permitting us to evade reality and shape secret desires give us the liberty of exploring new uncharted feelings & memories. It is also one of the few free luxuries that can offer us pleasure wherever we are, change our moods and even make us come. The fact that fantasies are private and belong only to us (and our partners sometimes) also give them a certain superpower... this secret power of knowing yourself, what you like, what turns you on, what goes on in that little wicked mind of yours, and knowing people probably underestimate or misjudge you 90% of the time.

For a very long time I was single and fanstasy was my sole method of turn ons. I was fantasizing about my 'true love' for the vast majority of that time, from the age of 4 to about 22, when I ditched that fantasy cuz it was clear to me that it was bringing me knowhere (it was merely a prefabricated fantasy packaged by society, well more like Disney & Mattel) . After that I started fantasizing about girls, older men, older women, and guys, in all kinds of different contexts, ranging from banal to dangerously perverted (depending on my mood and what had happened in the course of my day). I remember vividly my most scary fantasy (scary in the sense that I was shocked that it had turned me on so much). I was masturbating before going to sleep, and I was imagining all sorts of boring shit, trying to find that one thought or image that would do it for me. I then drifted unconsciously in toughts of my day, replaying in my head some conversations and visualizing some of the people I had served coffee to at work. I was quite close to cuming, and this one customer popped in my head, (I don't particularly like this dude, I actually quite DISlike him). I then had this image of us having sex, and suddenly I had the urge, just as I was about to cum, to slice his chest with a knife! I was super traumatized that this had turned me on to the point of cuming intensly. Of course this older man symbolized much more to me, his image captured my discomfort with conservative old men in general (their common sexism, lack of compassion, need for power/money and frequent selfish and close-minded comments).

Symbolism is very powerful in fantisies an dreams, and I find that interpreting these images and experiences help me demystify what I hide from myself.

The important thing to realize about fantasies is that they are ONLY FANTASIES. They give insight, they give pleasure, they give empowerment - they essentially GIVE to us, the only thing they need/take is a bit of imagination & motivation to let go.


- Sophie L.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Issue two


So as you might of noticed it's March, and with each new month comes a nice new subject to ponder on.

This month the subject is The wild and potentially deranged world of sexual fantasies.

This month, let's think about them, if they are the same when we are alone masturbating, and when we are with our partners. If they give us insight on our subconscious. If they tell the stories of our past. If they act as therapy or if they act as portals to indulge in our dark side.

Where do they come from and just why do they turn us on so damn much?


* Don't forget to add a title to your entries, as well the signature you want me to post at the end of your message.